Weekly Weigh In #9: What matters most?

Minneapolis

As I mentioned in my blog posts from the road, I spent last weekend on a road trip to Minnesota.  We attended a wedding, and had a beautiful weekend with family - but it was the first time since I began this diet that I ate food I shouldn't.  The scale responded accordingly.


Weight: 237


3 pounds gained.


I knew this would happen, and I have no regrets.  There are times in life when you allow yourself to celebrate a little with food.  This was one.  I did not eat 10,000 calories last weekend - I simply had some more carbohydrates than usual, and that pushed my body out of ketosis.  Casey said there's an excellent chance it's all water weight, and when I get back in the swing this week, it will come off with ease.


At the time of my weigh-in this past Wednesday, I was discouraged, of course.  I felt defeated and a little ashamed, even if I didn't regret doing it.  At that moment, my weight loss journey was the most important thing on the planet, and I had hit a speed bump.  

Unlike most weeks, where I weigh in that morning and write my blog post the same day, this week I waited.  I wonder if it's because I was subconsciously avoiding it, or if I actually was too busy this week to get to it until now (that's the story in my head.)  So, I woke up this morning, thinking I should post my numbers from this week, and feeling a bit of acceptance in the results of my weigh in.

I got cleaned up, made a cup of coffee, and began to think about how to approach today's writing.  Feeling uninspired, I switched on the television, and that's when I realized that it was 9/11, and almost exactly the same time of morning that the towers came under attack ten years ago.  My entire perspective shifted.

Some of my students at work in the classroom.

How has ten years passed since that day?  It seems only a minute ago that this happened, and yet, a lifetime ago.  I was 29, teaching at Manatee School For the Arts in Palmetto, Florida.  My classroom was a room at the back of the theater - a storage space converted into a classroom - and I was teaching drawing, animation, and stage makeup from that room.  It was one of the only places in the building that did not have a television.  I remember being in class with my Animation II kids, and someone coming in to tell us what happened.  We went into another class to watch what was happening, and felt like we were in a daze.  I spent the entire day worrying about all my friends in New York City, and secretly praying they were alright.  At the time, I was living with my sweet friend, Nathan, who also taught at the same school.  We sat in the living room watching the television all night, comforted by Brando the dalmatian.  


In the days that followed, we had no idea what to do with ourselves - besides watch television.  It seemed everything we thought of doing was somehow disrespectful or inappropriate - we should only be thinking of those who were lost and suffering.  If we watched a movie - or laughed - or even felt happy - it seemed wrong.  I think the whole world felt this way.  

A few of my students.

The one thing I knew I should definitely do, that felt completely right, was guide my students in how to process this event.  So, in the days after the attacks, we shelved all the projects we were working on, and began a series of more personal artworks that allowed them to process their feelings about the attacks through their artwork.  It helped me, too:  Those kids were (and still are) the embodiment of hope and the future for me.  I still can see the incredible promise in their eyes, and I still believe they are capable of anything.  


It's been ten years.  They are no longer kids, and neither am I.  

Nathan and Lucas.

So much has happened in ten years, both because of the 9/11 attacks, and independent of them.  Our country fought (and still fights) overseas against terrorism.  I shifted careers from teaching to museum education.  Soldiers went into Iraq and Afghanistan, I went from Florida to Arkansas. Babies who were orphaned in those attacks are now tweens.  Nathan and I both fell in love, and are now married to our soul mates.  People were lost.  Lives were stalled, ruined.  And some lives, now ten years later, are better than ever. 

I'm again reminded that life is about perspective.  Every day, you have to decide what matters most - today.  It will change from day to day, as it should.  But some things linger, and are always important, like remembering the past, and planning for the future.