Roller Coaster

Having worked for many years in a theme park, I am a very big fan of roller coasters.  They are thrilling, exciting and scary all at the sometime.  I love the big, steel coasters that have loops and corkscrew turns, that catapult you through the air.  But mostly, I love the feeling of being out of control, and yet, somehow know I'm going to survive it anyway.


The past few weeks have been a definite roller coaster.  I have weighed in a few times and gone both up and down.  I have had challenges with my weight loss.  I have celebrated some milestones.  I've even had a few moments of sobering realities for myself and others.  

In early February, I decided it was time to update my look.  I went to my hairdresser, and asked for a short haircut.  I felt like I had finally lost enough weight in my face and neck to go back to the shorter, sassier hair I had always loved.  She gave me a completely adorable cut that took pounds off my whole frame, and years off my look.  I shaved a good 20 minutes off my morning routine because there was so little hair to dry and style now, and have been loving it ever since.  


On February 24, I weighed in and reached a milestone.  I lost 4 pounds that week, and finally dipped below the 200 mark - I was 199.  I was ELATED, and felt like I was speeding through the corkscrews on a really fast roller coaster.  I haven't seen a 1 on the scale as my first number in years.  I could not have been happier!


After my great weigh-in, I flew to New York City for the National Art Educators Association National Convention.  I was so excited to see my friends and colleagues from around the globe, and to spend some time in my favorite city.  I was especially thrilled that my best friend, Lenny, was there - she's an art teacher, and so much fun... I couldn't wait to see her!  


I boarded my flight, and slid easily into my seat, rather than being wedged between the armrests.  I buckled my seat belt with no problem - and even had room to spare! - and didn't even begin to need a seat belt extender.  I grinned like a goofball the whole way to New York, because I was just regular sized now, not obese.  I was in a whole different group of travelers - I was no longer the one people sized-up at the gate while waiting, and thought to themselves, "I hope I don't have to sit beside her."

While in NYC, I knew I would eat more than I do at home, and probably go out of ketosis, and I made peace with that.  It was bittersweet, though, because I had just gotten under 200.  This, like the sickening feeling of going through the loop-de-loops, would be tougher to manage.  As I suspected, I had some New York favorites - food from a street vendor, amazing eggplant pizza - and I didn't regret a bit of it.  But, I also felt lousy when I got home - not emotionally lousy, but physically.  I had eaten more refined sugars and carbohydrates that week than in months, and it left me feeling a bit like a cinder block. 


The wonderful week came to an end, and Lenny and I headed back to LaGuardia.  At the airport, while checking in luggage, I noticed that one of her suitcases weighed nearly 70 lbs.  That's basically how much I've lost.  The gate agent told her she had to take 20 pounds out of it, or be charged an overage fee.  She immediately purged the bag and got it where it needed to be - and all I could think was that I'd lost as much as that suitcase.  And let me tell you, 70 lbs. is heavy.  I suddenly didn't feel so bad about the food I had eaten, because it could not negate my accomplishment.


I came home and weighed in again on Wednesday, March 7.  Driving to the doctor's office was like the long, slow crawl up the biggest hill on that roller coaster - agonizing, anxiety-inducing suspense.  I stepped on the scale, and as I suspected, I had gone up 2 pounds to 201.  (Insert interior screaming of both fear and terror!)  I was pretty sad, but quickly got over that - and decided that I'd get back on my program, and dip down again below 200 in no time. I had finally rolled into the station of the roller coaster ride, and I had actually survived.