"So, lemme ask you this..."

Since I posted the first two entries, so many of you have commented on how brave I am (thanks!) or how proud you are of me for not only doing this (cool!), but for putting it out there all along the way (I've never been shy, as you well know).  I really appreciate all your encouragement!

You've also asked a lot of questions, some of which I will try and answer today.

 

For those of you who have asked, "what's it called again?," it's called New Direction Weight Control System.  It's available through your doctor, and here is a website that can tell you more:  New Directions System 

One thing I find really interesting is that this product is often used with patients who are considering bariatric surgery, but need to get to a goal weight before that's a safe option for them.  I feel like I'm getting the benefits of bariatric surgery without the risk, and that's amazing.

Another question I've had a lot this week is, "how much weight do you want to lose?"  I'm going for 100 lbs.  In a perfect world, I'd lose 120 lbs., but we need to see how my body does with 100 lbs. less on its frame.  Then, I'll make my decision.  I want to be healthy, I want to shop in the regular section of the store, not the plus size section, and I want to be able to gracefully paint my toenails without looking like I'm in some strange yoga pose.  And I want to be healthy.  I've never, ever wanted to be a specific weight, so I'm sticking with that theory.

And finally, the last question I've had recently is, "aren't you hungry?  Is that really enough?"  Well friends, let me say this - I'm always hungry.  (I suspect that's how I got fat.)  But, my body isn't deprived and feels full after eating and throughout the day.  My doctor prescribed an appetite suppressant, which is common for about 50% of folks on this program.  I took it the past two days, but did not today - and I feel great.  I haven't felt hungry or lightheaded.  I have had headaches, but that's a symptom of sugar withdrawl more than anything.  I am also drinking gigantic amounts of water each day, which makes you feel pretty full, so that helps a lot, too.

Keep the questions coming.  Now, back to my pudding.  (I highly recommend the chocolate.)

The journey begins

Hi.  My name is Niki.  I live in Arkansas with my brand new husband and stepson.  I work in an art museum. I have a beautiful home and fantastic family, and love the life we have built.  In fact, so much is good about my life that I finally am able to focus on the one thing that has always been a problem:  my weight.


This week, I started what may very well be the last diet of my life.  I'm only one day into it, and already things have changed, realities have shifted, and life is altered.  My head is full of revelations and ideas to the point of exploding!  And, because so many of my friends are also dieting and trying to get healthier, I've decided to chronicle my process, and share successes, failures, and everything in between.  (I'm inspired by my brave friend Shaun who has been blogging about his weight loss on his hilarious blog "Me On A Diet.")


Let's start with some truth:  I'm 5'2" and I weigh 268.6 lbs.  And that's too much.


So, two days ago, I went to my doctor's office to get started with New Direction Weight Control System.  It's a doctor-administered program that replaces food for awhile with high protein shakes/soups/puddings, and therefore, offers pretty amazing results very quickly.  I drink lots of water, and eat these products, and will do so until I've lost at least 100lbs.  They say I'll lose 3-5 lbs. a week, which sounds like a LOT to an old Weight Watchers girl like me - but the doctor will make sure I'm healthy every step of the way.


The journey actually started a month ago, when I first heard about the program from a work colleague.  I went to an information session armed with dozens of questions, and my fiancee in tow.  I asked my questions very carefully  (will my hair fall out?  will I grow a third eye?  will I have excessive gas?) and learned that it was a really doable program, and not crazy expensive.  And my doctor is with me every step of the way, so if any of those unfortunate things happen, he'll help.  There's also a team of people - dieticians, exercise specialists - to help on the way.


The thing that impressed me the most was the focus on maintenance - not just weight loss - that they had from the beginning.  That's what I'm all about - keeping it off, not just losing it.  I weigh in weekly, and go to a class.  Eventually, we add in an exercise program.  When I get to goal, we add food back in.  That's the whole idea.


So, I started on Tuesday, and drank my shakes (chocolate is great, lemon not so much) and ate my pudding (pretty good), and drank over 70 ounces of water.  I got to have coffee in the morning, and didn't really feel too much of a headache until late in the day.  I wasn't terribly hungry, either.  I felt full.


And this morning, something happened that's never happened before.  I woke up, stepped out of bed, and walked around in my bare feet.  Usually, I have to steady myself, because my legs are wobbly and sore, or my back isn't great - largely because of my weight, but also due to old injuries.  But not today.  I just walked right into the bathroom without feeling sore.


This is big.


So, let's see how it goes, shall we? 

The Crystal Light at the end of the tunnel

When I got home from work today, my sweet husband asked how my day was.  I was lamenting that today, day two of the Glee Diet (as we have come to call it - New Directions - get it?), I really missed flavors and food.  The smells coming from the breakroom at lunch were GLORIOUS and I only had chocolate pudding to eat.  I wanted something other than powdery flavor and water. 

I spent a fair amount of time today thinking about how lucky "eaters" are - they can have virtually ANYTHING they want for lunch or dinner, and I have only one choice really.  And, when I was an eater, I didn't really notice or celebrate the fact that I could have ANYTHING.  Oh, the squandered meals!  The quick lunches to Subway where I didn't even gush over the freshness of the bread or the crisp lettuce!  What have I been doing?

Then, my sweet husband said, "did you read the binder they gave you?  Maybe there's something in there that will help."  As usual, he was right.  (One of the many reasons I married him.)

I was thinking I could only drink water.  But, NO!  I have options!  Coffee (which I knew about) and tea, and the thing I've been dreaming about all day - CRYSTAL LIGHT.  The many flavors!  The fruity wonderfulness!  The variety!  The portability!  Drinking 64+ ounces of water a day will now be a veritable fiesta of flavors!  

It's a small victory, my friends - but it's important to remember this moment because the truth is this:  the grass is only greener over the septic tank.  Once I tire of Crystal Light, I'll be maudlin again, but for tonight, the promise of going to the grocery store and buying some fruity flavor has renewed my dedication in this process.

And, isn't that what it's really about?  Each day, we identify the thing that vexes us, and spend time trying to resolve it.  And, the work is worth it:  houses feel best after they've been dusted and scrubbed, eyebrows look superb when recently groomed, and babies are often most adorable when freshly bathed, smelling of powder, and sleeping sweetly.  

After the hard work, there is a result worth having.  There really IS light at the end of the tunnel, even if for today, it's only Crystal Light.