Say cheese!

66 lbs. lost

Even though I've lost 66 pounds to date, I still hate having my picture taken.  I still dread seeing myself on film, and I probably always will.  Anytime you see me smiling on film, it's very possibly a forced smile, not a real one.  This is how all fat people feel about photographs, even if they say it isn't true.


I haven't posted photos in a long time for a few reasons:  
1.  I've been incredibly busy.
2.  I hate having my picture taken.
3.  I don't think the way I look has changed since the last set of photos, so I didn't see much point.


But, with all that being true, I realize that I'm not always right,and I don't always see what's really in front of me.  So today, I asked my sweet husband to take a few snaps - and here they are. 


I am not looking for sympathy or positive comments when I tell you that I dislike these photos intensely.  I simply dislike all photos of me, including these.


I can also say that they don't look that different from the last set to me - whether that's real or just what I see, it's my reality right now.


Additionally, I'm in weekend mode right now - which means I am not trying too hard with the way I look.  I've worked out and started laundry, but I sure haven't done much for my hair or makeup - because, well, it's Sunday - and I don't have to.


But sharing photos of the days I don't really try too hard is just as important as sharing the staged, prettier photos we all have taken from time to time - they are ALL of us, the real us, no matter what we think.  And dealing with that is part of this process.


A few things I know from these photographs - these are just some simple, cotton clothes, and they are not the most flattering in the world - that's why I just wear them around the house.  I could use some new bras, and will invest in them soon- because it is most certainly an investment.  I need some t-shirts that fit better, too.  I'm quite happy at how my legs are slimming down, though - and getting stronger, thanks to Zumba and walking a lot.  For those who remember that fateful day when I bought some pants in the regular size section for the first time - these are the very pants.  Nothing special, aside from the label that says XL (instead of 3X).


Seeing yourself in pictures is important - because it teaches you to see things more accurately, especially during a whole body makeover like mine.  While I still hate having my picture taken, I am glad I did it.