Weekly Weigh In #13: Golden

This week, I weighed in.  I felt pretty sure I had not lost an ounce.  I didn't drink all my water, and didn't devote time to exercise.  This was not self-sabotage, but a product of the week I had - as things heat up, I'm giving more and more gallery tours and working in areas where you cannot have food or drink, so water is hard to get in.  I'm also working longer days, eliminating the ability to go walking or do a little cardio when I get home.  I was unsure how all this would affect my moment on the scale.


Weight:  244
Pounds lost:  2
Total pounds lost:  44


Now, I know the scale is not the only measure of success, but on a week when you pay for both your food AND your monthly program fee (about $150), it helps to have a weight loss of significance.  So, two pounds was good.


I also feel relatively confident that I can keep doing the program through the next month of very crazy stuff.  I will probably have to eat regular food at a reception or media event, as I did this past week, and I refuse to make myself crazy about it.  I am prepared for some bumps along the way, but remain committed.  


I find the most important thing during this time of sheer insanity is to know myself.  To know what I will and will not do, and what I need to make myself feel aligned again at the end of the day.  I'm not always so in touch with these things, so the self-investigation I'm currently doing is pretty interesting.  Here's what I'm finding out, even in just a few days into the process.


There are some things I'm just not willing to do, and some that I absolutely will continue.

• I will not give up on my diet just because this is going to be a busy month.  In life, there will be other busy months, and I'll have to get through them, too.
• I will drink 3 shakes per day, and attempt to get all my water in.
• I will weigh in, even when I am sure I haven't lost weight - because I just might be wrong.
• I will actually get through it... this is the hardest part to believe right now.
• I will not put my 44 pounds back on, just because I'm busy or stressed.  

At the end of the day, there are just two simple things I really need to right myself again:  my boys, and The Golden Girls.


I know I have married the absolute right man, because when I lay down next to him at the end of the day, I feel completely safe and drift right off to sleep.  I don't do that when I travel, or when he's away, so it's got to be because of sweet Paul.  He's been so supportive and encouraging during this time - and always helps me balance out, just by hugging me.  I'd be a wreck without him.  Having Max has also been so great, not just because he's an incredibly cool kid, but because having children forces you to think about the longevity of your decisions.  I'm doing what I'm doing for me, and for him - to show him that food and nutrition matter.


I also know that I need The Golden Girls.  I can watch them over and over, and I rarely get tired of them.  I laugh out loud, still, and the jokes.  I even love the parts of the show that are ridiculous, and don't reflect real life- like the fact that they live in Miami, yet dress like they live in a cold climate with all those layers and flowy polyester pantsuits.  


I think the reason I love Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia is because they remind me of my past.  Before living in Arkansas, I lived in Florida for 18 years, so that's familiar to me.  I used to see their "house" on the backlot at Disney-MGM Studios regularly, since I worked there for nearly 10 years.  But beyond all that, I remember watching these girls with some of my sweetest, best friends, and laughing ourselves silly.  Shaun and I have roared at Sophia's wit.  Nathan and I have giggled at Rose's innocence and stupidity.  Lenny and I laugh our heads off at the slapstick moves of the first season, and the physical comedy Bea Arthur does so well.  And my Mom and I laugh at everything about this show, in the same way we laugh like fools at funny greeting cards in the store.  Most of my favorite people have laughed with me at this show, and so somehow, they're all here in spirit when I unwind with the girls from Miami.


Someday, I'm probably going to BE a Golden Girl.  Long after our husbands are gone, it's entirely possible that we will all end up living in a house in Florida together - me and my Mom as the Dorothy-Sophia team, Lenny in the Rose role - innocently hopeful and full of hilarious stories (but really brilliant under it all), and Nathan in the Blanche role - the sassy, fashionable landlord.  Shaun will be our next-door neighbor, a la Empty Nest, and have his own full-blown comedy show going on, too.  There we'll all be - laughing, eating cheesecake, and continuously dieting.  The only variable will be this: when we diet, there will be shakes.


My plan for getting through the next month includes some simple things.  I have to know what makes me happy and recharges my batteries, and then make time to recharge them.  I cannot ignore the things that are happening around me - I can still make good choices when life is nuts.  I have to remain flexible, and remember the commitments I've made to myself.  And I need to let the people I love help me, and be there for me - I don't need to do it all on my own.  If I can do that, I'll be Golden.