Channeling the Rolling Stones...

I can hear the tune in my head...




You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.




Today was one of those days when I didn't get what I wanted, even though I tried.


First, I wanted food.  So, I deviated from the all-shake diet when I found myself hungry and seated with colleagues at a restaurant.  I ordered a salad with turkey, and had no carbs.  I had very little dressing and a lot of greens.  And I enjoyed the ritual of eating with my peeps.


And then, after we finished, I felt horrible.  Both physically and mentally.  What the HELL was I thinking?  Didn't I just write about getting more vigilant yesterday?  THIS was not vigilant.  And not what I wanted.

The other thing is this: I ate SALAD.  Not pie.  Not a burger.  Not a carb in sight, in fact.  I'm now critical of my salad.  Hideous.  Just hideous.


In the end, though, I think I got what I needed.  I ate, and was unfulfilled.  I have been dreaming of food for weeks, and now I have eaten - and I didn't really enjoy the feeling I got after.  Too full, too guilty.  And now, I have no dreams of deviating from the shakes, because I know there's no joy in it.  No real fulfillment.  


I now know I'll be happy with the shakes, because it's the right thing to do.  And that's what I really needed.