A thing of beauty

Every now and then, life gives you a chance to see the beauty that's all around you.  Tonight, there was a shift in the weather, and the suffocating heat finally relented and made way for a beautiful cool breeze to blow in.  Fat, pink and yellow clouds filled the sky and threatened to rain, but only disappeared into the dark after all.  We sat on the porch watching the Parrish blue sky turn darker, and talking in the cooler summer night.  It was beautiful.


There are also times when one actually feels beautiful.  I've actually had many of those in my life.

My nails were red and long - and acrylic - and they
were gorgeous.  Don't judge me.

I can remember years ago, teaching at a school in Palmetto, Florida, I had a moment of feeling beautiful.  I was standing in the small room that held the copy machine before classes began, running off a test I would give later that day.  My sweet friend, Mary C, came in and saw my freshly manicured nails pressing the buttons on the machine, and she commented about how lovely my hands were and how great my nails looked.  I felt happy, and I agreed - it was a great manicure!  The whole rest of the day, when I talked with my hands (I can't help it - I'm Italian), I thought about her comment, and I felt beautiful.


The day I married my sweet husband, nearly two months ago now, was one of my best days.  It was joyful and emotional, and a lot of fun.  After the wedding concluded at 3pm, we went to our room to relax and nap before heading out for dinner.  Paul and I stretched out on the bed, and started talking about how great the day was.  Laying side by side, my sweet husband stared at the ceiling and said, "God, you looked so gorgeous today.  I'll never forget it."  I immediately started to cry (wouldn't you?) and in that moment, felt so dang beautiful.  It didn't matter that I was heavier than I'd ever been at that time.  It didn't matter that my back hurt from the heels and standing so much, or that I had to peel the Spanx off of me in order to breathe - he only saw the glow of a woman completely in love with her husband, and eager to marry him.  And because of that, I was beautiful.

Oh, Lanvin, nobody does flowy like you.

Today, I wore a pair of dress pants and a top to work, both of which are rapidly becoming too big for me.  The tops I used to hang dry so they wouldn't shrink are now tumbling in the dryer, in the hopes that they'll reduce a bit in size.  Unlike the tops, my pants don't shrink, really.  When pants get too big in the legs, they feel flowier (is that a word?) and actually get longer on you - that's where we are with some of my wardrobe now.  They're long enough now that I had to wear heeled shoes today.  They, in turn, put me into "heeled shoe posture" all day long, and somehow made me feel completely different.  At times, even though my day was insane with business meetings and kept me at the office for a solid 12 hours, I still loved the way I felt, striding down the long hallways - lithe, lean, and thin, with my flowy gray pants moving like they do on runway models.  Now, let's be clear - I am not yet thin, and my pants were from JC Penney (the polar opposite of fashion, actually).  But I felt thin - and beautiful.  And that is something.


The irony of this is not lost on me - I weigh in tomorrow, and expect that I have not lost any weight this week due to my birthday dinner splurge.  (I know I made good choices, and don't regret the meal - but it was more calories than I usually have, and that will matter on the scale tomorrow morning.)  But tonight, the memory of feeling better and thinner all day long today, combined with the cool nighttime breezes, has made my evening a thing of beauty.